Title:Filled with hatred

I've already tried to prevent myself from writing this lot of things already. However, my body doesn't function as i wanted it to be. Yes, it was hatred that have had taken over my soul and body. This hatred, i guarantee you, it will never be resolved unless i hear a proper sorry from that guy. And so, the day started off like this...
Everything went by quite well for the first lesson during, PoA. Madam Leow carried on teaching us on the last two error, the complete reversal of entries and compensating error. As the time passes by, second lesson, geography lesson and as usual, nothing happened. It is only until the third lesson, English lesson. In fact, it is the ending part of it. A girl (name shall not be mentioned), snatched away my phone and went on to the Ethernet without my permission! Okay.. right now at this situation, tell me honestly.. who wouldn't be angry. Anyways, back to the story, I told her nicely,"Give it back". But she refuses to even acknowledge that I'm talking to her. I've became really angry (not as angry as the last part) and I pushed away the table which is connected to hers. She gave me an annoyed look and toss back my phone to me. Back then, I was already pissed off. Samantha, another person who's sitting beside me whispered to me,"relax..". I'm not sure why but my body had chose to ignored her. I went out of the classroom and then towards my Chinese class.
When i stepped in the class, I just slammed my bag onto the usual chair where I'm sitting. Those who had reached into the classroom first could already sensed that somethings not right. They had tried to cheer me up and i appreciated that. Awhile later, my Chinese teacher came into the classroom and by then, part of the anger had ceased. Nothing much happened until the end of the day, to be exact, it was during my CCA.
When the training starts, I saw some ex-students, my seniors, had came to "view" our training. This particular senior(names shall not be mention again..) had always stared at me, giving me those looks, as if he always despises me. Of course, I would not want them to come. Speech day rehearsal continued as usual.. But it was the crucial moment during the passing off parade that made me totally pissed off. I played the "ASM" role and I would need to start the parade by saying,"Individual platoon IC report strength". After I said it once, I could even notice that it was the loudest I've ever shout. But that senior, he wanted me to repeat as it was too "soft". How am I suppose to shout louder?! It's already the loudest! "Never mind, try again", this sentence appeared in the core of my heart. Tried the second time and all I could notice is that everyone(all except those from my CCA) is looking at me, giggling. After the second try, the senior still says that it's too soft and went in front of me and say that he wanted it to be louder and went behind. Let's be practical about this, I bet that those other IC from my badge can already hear my command. More and more people are giggling. I felt embarrassed and at that moment, he faced at my direction and make some noises with a voice that is louder than mine. In my mind, I had decided to give it a try again but my body cannot take the stress and broke down with tears. Another senior who had not graduated yet came in front of me and said," Aww you want to cry?" I just felt angry but I could do nothing about it. I feel like digging a hole and just hide there and never come out. I ignored everything and just went into the toilet nearest to me.
Went in there, sat down, lying on a wall and started crying out softly. I hated myself for not turning back and whacking that guy and i hated everyone who was laughing and lastly, I hate those seniors. It wouldn't had happened without them. If they were that good, why don't they just take over the whole platoon? While these information flows through my mind, one more senior who is not graduated yet came into the toilet and asked whether I'm okay. I just nodded my head but would I be "okay"? He said that those seniors just wanted to push my limits by teasing me. WHAT NONSENSE IS THAT?! We went back to the CCA room and everyone from my same level was looked at me with the usual but something was different, was it sympathy? I changed up inside the room and went out together with my classmate, Jing Yang, he had asked me the same question as that senior but I never did answer him. We went out of the school gate and went on a separate route home.
You may think that this is ridiculous and I should not be angry about it, but think about it, I've endured so much in this CCA and I had never been late for trainings neither did I scold those seniors or said bad things about them, and yet, I had got these back from them. I should have said bad things about them scold them shout at them scream at them curse and swear at them! I really hate those seniors, but not all of them. Wish that everyone could forget about it...
Dystroyer